


Ripper Street Cafe 2: Caffeine Addiction

by literati42



Series: Ripper Street Cafe [3]
Category: Prodigal Son (TV 2019)
Genre: Angst, Asexual Malcolm Bright, Biromantic Malcolm Bright, Bisexual Nico Stavros, Borderline Personality Disorder, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Fluff, Found Family, Gay JT Tarmel, Hurt/Comfort, Lesbian Dani Powell, Love is messy, M/M, Malcolm Bright Needs a Hug, Mental Health Issues, Pansexual Poly Edrisa, Past Suicide Attempt, Romance, Slow Burn, Team as Family, coffee shop AU
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-05
Updated: 2020-07-14
Packaged: 2021-03-04 23:28:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,890
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25094617
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/literati42/pseuds/literati42
Summary: Return to Ripper Street Cafe, the most loving macabre cafe in the city, where things have gotten a bit messy.Malcolm is pining for JT.JT is trying to figure out what to do with his life.Edrisa and Dani seem to have caught feelings.Nico is trying to find his place in everything.Gil just wants them all safe.But Malcolm's passed won't quite leave them alone, and let's not forget. Somebody still wants Nico dead.Things are stirring up at the cafe, and it's not just coffee.
Relationships: Dani Powell/Edrisa Tanaka, Malcolm Bright/JT Tarmel
Series: Ripper Street Cafe [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1796341
Comments: 20
Kudos: 37





	1. Bathory’s Blood Orange

**Author's Note:**

> RIPPER STREET IS BACK! I hope you are as excited as I am to hang the open sign over the door again. This series is honestly my favorite thing I've ever written, and I am always so happy to get back to it.
> 
> Here we go!
> 
> Come hang with me on twitter @themythofpsyche and on tumblr @literati42

At first, they all looked at the door every time the bell rang.

It made sense that they looked. Alerting them to costumers was the one and only function of the bell, but the speed their eyes flew to the door was new. For a few days, every time the bell rang, they knew it could be danger. When it turned out one of their regulars was a murderer bent on killing Nico, suddenly some of the safety of their café felt tarnished. So Gil, now with 100% less job, hung around the café more, keeping an eye on them. Nico stayed close to home. The three of them checked in with each other when they were coming or going. Everyone felt on high alert.

Then nothing happened.

No retaliation. No mysterious strangers paying them too much attention. No more midnight visitors to the alley outside. It was anti-climatic in a way, after everything they went through. Slowly, as the days went on, the air began to lighten inside the city’s most macabre café. Edrisa’s smile returned to its natural ease. Nico’s shoulders seemed less tense. Gil still spent a lot of time at the café, but seemed more willing to go back out into the world and leave them on their own.

Soon it was only Bright’s eyes that flew to the door every time the bell rang.

“Stop,” Nico said, as yet another customer walked through the door, filling the room with chimes.

“What?”

“Stop, your pining is getting obvious,” Nico replied, his eyebrow raised slightly in a challenge.

“I’m not pining.”

“It’s okay if you miss him, Bright,” Edrisa said, her hand gently brushing his shoulder as she headed by with a cup of Bathory’s Blood Orange tea for a woman in the corner.

“It’s been two weeks, Mal. Not a word, not a text.” Nico raised his eyebrow. “You’ve been ghosted, brother.”

“It doesn’t count as being ghosted if he told me he was disappearing,” Malcolm said. The bell rang again, and like one of Pavlov’s dogs, Bright found himself looking up. The sunlight spilled in around the figure of Dani Powell. Bright let his face settle into a soft smile.

Dani was a regular at the café in her own right now. She gave him a little nod and came over. Suddenly, Bright found Edrisa gently moving him out of the way. “You want to take over…okay,” he said, stepping back to where Nico was working the espresso machine. They exchanged a look. If Edrisa was in a ten-mile radius of the café, she would suddenly appear to take Dani’s order.

“Hi, Dani, I like your jacket,” she said, even though it was the same brown leather one she wore most days.

Malcolm shook his head, tuning out their flirting and leaning on the counter beside Nico. His friend pointedly moved around him. “Could you be more in the way?”

“Why can’t they admit they like each other?” Malcolm said, not moving even as Nico had to reach around him to get the syrup. Nico paused.

“I don’t know. Maybe they saw you shoot your shot with JT and decided it wasn’t worth the risk.”

Bright cringed. That had not felt like Nico’s teasing. “You mad at me for some reason?”

Nico began swirling the syrup across the whipped cream of the frappe with an impressive amount of aggression. “Why would I be mad?” Then before Malcolm could answer, Nico sat down the coffee, the force of it sending brown liquid sloshing onto the counter. “Because I’ve only been back for a few weeks, and you’ve spent that entire time focused on being obsessed with a guy that is never going to return your feelings? How much more clear does the asshole need to be exactly?”

Bright took a step away from the counter, “What?”

“It’s Eve all over again.”

“Nic,” Bright said, “That’s not fair.”

“Guys,” Edrisa said, stepping closer to them.

“Isn’t it?” Nico said as if she had not spoken. “Malcolm Bright, patron lover of lost causes.”

“What the hell is this about, Nico?” Bright asked

“What it’s about? It’s about the dark place you went after Eve. It’s about the fact that you’re hell-bent on making the same mistakes. I didn’t pull you out of the hole you crawled into for you to end up back there over a guy,” Nico said. Bright took another step back, feeling struck.

“I’m sorry I was so inconvenient for you.”

Nico’s eyes widened, “Mal…”

Bright saw the pain and regret cross his chosen brother’s face, and it twisted like guilt in his gut. It was not fair, what Nico said, it was not fair how he was treating Nico, and it was not fair how JT was treating him. The unfairness of it all swirled around him until he could no longer find the words to say. Bright walked away from Nico before the apology could come out. He knew Nico had not meant to say those words.

He feared Nico meant them.

_-_-_

“Nico…” Edrisa said, her words breaking the silence that violently seized the room when Bright left. Nico pulled off his apron and tossed it on the counter.

“I’m taking off early.”  
“Nico,” Edrisa said again, reaching for him. Nico threw his jacket over his shoulder, sidestepping her hand, and heading toward the door.

“I know, I know,” he said. “Stick to crowded areas, don’t go down dark alleys, don’t get in cars with strangers.” He shot a look back at her, “I can’t hide in the café forever, Edrisa.”

She pulled her hand back, “I know.”

The door slammed as he left her standing there. Dani glanced her way, “You seem understaffed,” she said, “Give me a minute, and I’ll help if you want.”

Edrisa gave her a little smile, “Really? You don’t need to do that, Dani.”

Dani’s smile widened, “I want to. I’ll be right back.” She held Edrisa’s gaze for a second more before slipping out the door, speeding up her steps to catch up with Nico.

“Can I help you with something?” Nico asked her, not slowing his pace at all.

“You look like you need to talk.”

“And what, you’re everybody’s therapist? Don’t you know, you don’t have to take on all the emotional labor of us men,” Nico said.

“Oh, you read a feminist textbook, so now you’re going to lecture me, a Black queer woman, about emotional labor?”

He slowed down then, glancing her way. “Sorry, I was being an asshole.”

“Yeah,” Dani agreed. “Besides, I’d be a terrible therapist. I’m too fond of telling people when they are being assholes.”

That got a slight smirk out of him, “Why are you coming to talk to me then?”

“Because it seems like your entire support system is back there in the café, and you are currently mad at them.” Dani shrugged. “And it seemed like you needed to talk.” She looked over at Nico.

“I didn’t mean that shit,” Nico said, “Mal’s not a burden. He just…he’s always on some edge or other. Right after…after the darkest point of his life, last year, he barely was back on his feet, and he gets in a relationship with this woman—Eve.” Nico raised his eyebrows, “Believe me, Eve came with plenty of her own baggage, but it wasn’t even that. Mal just threw himself into the relationship until it consumed him. He’s never done anything halfway. It was…dark days.” Nico stuck his hands in his pockets. “Now, he’s acting the same with JT.”

“And JT has his own baggage too,” Dani replied.

“Honestly, I’m not sure it would fix the problem if JT was a picture of mental health.” Nico shook his head, studying her look, “You think I’m being dramatic, right?”

“No,” Dani replied, “I don’t know Bright well enough to know if you’re right. It’s just…is it possible you are right, and also that you might be jealous?”

“Jealous?” Nico stopped walking altogether. “Right, because we’re both bisexual and live together, we must be horny for each other? Trust me, I have no desire to bang Malcolm Bright.”

Dani raised her eyebrow, “I don’t think you do,” her tone making it clear she was not getting drawn into his bullshit, “But, there is more than one kind of jealous. It seems like, over the last year, you, Edrisa, and Gil have become Bright’s whole world. And, based on what I’m seeing, I think maybe they are your whole world too.” She shrugged, “It makes sense that it would be hard for new people to enter that world.”

“It makes sense huh?” Nico asked, it was his turn to raise an eyebrow.

Dani shrugged. “Gil and JT were my whole world, Nico. And I learned a few weeks ago, Gil had someone who was basically his son and who I never knew existed. I’m still trying not to be mad about that. So yeah, it makes sense.”

They stood there for a moment, silently eyeing each other before Nico gave a slight nod. “I hear you.”

“Good,” she replied. “I better get back to the café. Edrisa has two completely unreliable baristas who both bailed today.”

“Ha,” Nico replied.

She gave him an amused smile in return, heading back to the café.

_-_-_

The bell chimed over the door again, and Edrisa turned, “Is that you, Dani?” she stopped dead. “Oh! Mrs. Whitly…”

Jessica Whitly waved away whatever she was going to say, pulling off her gloves as she looked around the café. Her nose turned up slightly, “You certainly have done something with the place, haven’t you?”

Edrisa grinned, “Oh, thank you!” though exactly what the sentence had meant was not quite settling in her mind. “Um…Malcolm’s not here.”

“Yes,” Jessica replied, glancing around, “Well, I’m glad he hasn’t sunk so far as to be unrecognizable.” Edrisa furrowed her brow again. Conversations with Jessica Whitly tended to do this to her.

“Did you…want me to get him?”

“No, don’t put yourself out. I see you are vastly understaffed. Why don’t you tell him to come see me when he gets off tonight. That is if he can spare the time for his only mother.”

“Mother,” Bright said from the doorway. “No need for theatrics, when you know I live upstairs.” Jessica walked over, picking at the shoulder seam of his sweater.

“What are you wearing, Darling?”

“Clothes for working,” he replied.

“And does the dress code mandate shabby chic or…”

“Is there a reason you’re here?”

Jessica made a flourishing motion as if to search the café with her eyes. “And where is the little urchin who was living in my walls?”

“Okay, have you insulted everyone sufficiently to come upstairs?” Malcolm asked. Edrisa caught the apologetic look he threw her way before ushering his mother up to his apartment.

_-_-_

Bright shut the door to the apartment he shared with Nico and turned to look at his mother. “Okay, what brought you all the way here today?”

Just as she had in the café, Jessica turned her appraising eye on his apartment. He took a breath, trying to force down the irritation as he waited for her to answer. Finally, she settled her eyes on him. “Your ankle seems better.”

“It is, I’ve been resting it,” he replied, “I can’t quite land a Jeté as I’d like, but I can walk fine.” He studied her. Malcolm knew his mother was a fan of making every conversation into a production, but this seemed like stalling, even for her. “Mother, what is it?”

“Ainsley wants a meeting.”

He let out a breath, “Goodbye, Mother.”

“Wait, hear me out,” Jessica said, hand up defensively. “I know you said you needed time, and I have respected that. You weren’t strong enough to see her at first.”

“Mother.”

“But…” Jessica’s voice dropped down, the way it sometimes did, “She’s family.”

He let out a breath.

“You keep insisting to me that you aren’t fragile. That I don’t need to hover because you are doing fine. You are doing yoga, and taking your medication daily, and keeping a solid job.” His mother was working up to one of her proper rants, so he was surprised when she let it drop, her voice softening, “So, if it isn’t about how you are doing, then answer me one thing. When have you made her suffer enough?”

The tears were unexpected. They made his throat feel like it was going to close up. “You still have the key you made yourself, so, you can show yourself out.” With that, he went up the stairs, going out the door onto the rooftop.

_-_-_

Dani was walking back to the café when she spotted a familiar shape standing at the doorway. She slowed her pace. “You going in?” she asked. When former detective JT Tarmel looked up at her, she smiled, “Hey, stranger.”


	2. Ivan Milat Mocha

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're back at my favorite fictional cafe (to write anyway!) Thank you for staying with this story, I hope you keep enjoying!
> 
> Shout out to @Hannah_BWTM for the title of this chapter! And shoutout to CornerofMadness for the title of last chapter!
> 
> TW/CW: Panic attacks
> 
> I hope you enjoy!

Dani pushed open the door, walking into the dim café and making her way toward the only barista remaining at the counter.

“Is he coming in?” Edrisa asked her. Dani followed her gaze, seeing JT through the window, still standing on the street.

“I don’t know,” she replied, turning back and smiling softly. “So, how can I help?”

Edrisa’s lips broke into a smile that made warmth bloom in Dani’s chest. Edrisa offered her the apron Malcolm left there a while before. Dani slipped it over her head. “Oh, it…” Edrisa said, coming over, then she hesitated. Dani could practically feel the warmth of her hands from how close they were. “Can I help?” Dani gave one, quick nod, and carefully lifted her hair. Slowly, Edrisa began fixing the knot of the apron string and retying it. Dani felt her hands brush the back of her neck several times as she worked. She felt every point of contact with vibrance.

“There,” Edrisa said, stepping away. Her voice sounded breathless. Dani turned around, staring into the other woman’s eyes.

The doorbell chimed again, cutting the moment in two.

JT realized with clarity that his entrance cut into the room like it a knife. He had the sense that something happened just before he opened the door. His instincts told him that Dani and Edrisa had forgotten they were not alone together, and JT’s intrusion into the café shattered that, bringing them back to the moment.

“Finally,” Dani said.

“Oh, JT!” Edrisa said.

JT approached the counter, looking at the two of them with their flustered expressions. He raised an eyebrow. “Am I interrupting something?”

“No, no, not going to happen,” Dani said, “You don’t lurk outside this place for weeks only to use us as a distraction when you finally get up the courage to come in.”

“He’s been coming to the café?” Edrisa asked, “And standing outside? Pining?” She pressed her hands over her heart, eyes wide as she looked at him. “How romantic.”

“JT, you have to go talk to him,” Dani said.

JT felt like the conversation was getting away from him, but never more than when Edrisa spoke her next words.

Edrisa gasped, “You have to! He’s in his death garden.”

“His…death garden?”

“On the roof!” Edrisa pulled out a key and handed it to him. “Just, you know, give that back when you leave?”

“What the hell is a death garden?”

“Go!” Dani said.

So, JT found himself holding the key to Malcolm Bright’s apartment without the man’s knowledge, going to search for rooftop access so he could find the man in a death garden—whatever that was—and have a conversation where he had no idea what he wanted to say.

This was not what he planned.

Of course, when he left that morning, JT did not have a plan. For all JT knew, he was going to stand outside the café without going in, again. If he knew this would be the moment, maybe he would have taken one more look in the mirror. JT straightened his shirt when he reached the top of the stairs, then released a breath. He let himself into Bright’s apartment and headed for the stairs he remembered seeing during his last visit. JT headed up them, finding the rooftop door ajar. He pushed it open.

The rooftop was covered in planters and flower beds. There were strings of solar lights surrounding the space. It was the kind of rooftop that would be absolutely gorgeous if not for the fact that so many of the plants were dead. JT took a step onto the roof and looked around, but if Bright was up here, he was lost somewhere in the vegetation. “When Edrisa said you were hiding in your death garden…honestly, I want to make a joke here, but I couldn’t even guess what she meant,” JT said as he walked in, trying to alert the garden’s other occupant that he was there. He walked around a tall, dying plant to find Malcolm Bright sitting on a stone bench. JT stopped moving altogether. After a few weeks of avoiding him, the sight of the barista hit JT like a wall. He swallowed and forced himself to keep talking. “Just to be clear,” he said, touching a brown leaf that immediately fell off in his hand. “The plants are why it’s a death garden, right? There aren’t bodies.”

Malcolm lifted his eyes slowly, his face unreadable. “You mean, are there bodies buried in the foot of dirt under those sunflowers?” Bright asked. Then he paused, “I guess they would fit if they were chopped up.”

“See, I knew you would figure it out.”

“Don’t think you can come here and compliment my ability to get away with murder, and all will be forgiven.”

JT let out a breath. For a moment, it felt like the familiar banter was returning, but there was something different in Bright’s tone. It was like the animation usually sending sparks through his every word had withered like the plants around him. JT took another step forward, and his breath hitched. Standing closer to the other man, JT could see the shimmer of tears in his eyes. “Bright,” he said, “Are you…is this because of me?”

“Don’t flatter yourself,” Bright said as he ran a hand through his hair, making pieces of it fall into his eyes. JT noticed then that Malcolm did not look put together. It was a strange thing to note, but even working long shifts at the coffee shop or preparing to spend a day chasing leads with JT, Bright always looked put together. The only time JT had seen him look disheveled was after a gunfight with an actual murderer. Seeing him look like this on a normal day where—JT hoped—no one was trying to kill the barista, startled JT.

The former detective walked over to another stone bench opposite Bright and sat down. “If not me, then, what’s going on?”

“JT, I’d rather you didn’t butt in if you’re just going to leave again.”

It felt like a slap, but one he deserved. JT let out a breath. “I’ve been an idiot.” JT looked over at Bright. He realized the other man was not going to interrupt. “I didn’t know where my mind was.”

“And where’s your mind now?”

“Honestly, the same place it was the last time we talked.”  
“You don’t know what you want from life and you don’t know how to love me?”

JT let out a breath. Back when Malcolm was a weird, barista that Gil somehow knew, it had been easy to talk to him. Hell, when he thought Bright was a suspect in his murder case, it was easier to talk to the man than this. Talking to Bright was adversarial, but it flowed like nothing JT ever felt before. Now, it felt like trying to run on sand—every step seemed to lose traction. “Yeah,” he said finally.

“Great, well that door you came in goes out too, so, feel free to use it.”

“You said you didn’t want to stand in the way of me figuring things out.”

“Yeah, well that’s when I didn’t expect you to show up and start the same pattern over again,” Bright replied, his eyes flashing. “JT, I don’t care if you have to leave to figure your life out, I would never stop you from doing that, but my mind hasn’t changed. I can’t keep going around and around with you.” Bright stood up, his hands moving as he talked, and JT thought, at least he was animated again.

JT stood up too. He stepped forward and caught one of Bright’s hands. “Can you shut up for just a second.” He said it, but his words were not harsh. The barista closed his mouth, looking up into JT’s face.

“I don’t want to go around and around either, and no, I haven’t figured anything out. And yes, I still don’t know how to love you.”

“Yeah, you’re not the only one that finds that hard.”

JT shook his head, eyes fierce then, “No, it’s not _hard_ to love you. I just don’t think you know how brightly you burn.”

Bright huffed, stepping away from him. “Yeah, I’m a lot.” JT heard the hurt in his voice. He felt conscious of how badly this was going, felt Bright drawing into himself.

“No, you aren’t understanding me.” JT stepped back into Bright’s orbit and put his hand on the other man’s cheek. “You are _a lot_. You are a lot of energy, and a lot of words, and a million other things I haven’t uncovered. When I’m around you, you block out everything else, and that is a lot.” JT shook his head, “But a lot isn’t bad, Bright.”

Malcolm shook his head, sitting back down, “You have the worst timing.”

“I know. We both do. Look, I’ll leave, if that’s what you want, but Bright, is there ever going to be good timing? Are our lives ever going to be simpler?”

“No,” Bright replied, looking up at him. “What are you saying, you want to give this a try? JT, you’ve said that to me before.”  
“I know,” JT replied, “You told me loving you wasn’t going to be easy. You told me you couldn’t offer me any assurances. But it was easy to say none of that mattered when we were standing in the rain with adrenaline pumping through our blood because I was still recovering from thinking I’d lost you.” JT sighed, trying to sort the words out as he said them. “But when my whole life unraveled,” He shook his head, “I…”

“You got scared.”

JT forced down the defensiveness that raged up in him. He did not know this would happen, that their roles would reverse so thoroughly, and he would be the one trying to force Malcolm to have this conversation. “Yes. I’m sorry I hurt you, Bright.”

JT heard the little intake of breath, and even without the barista looking up, he knew the tears were back in Bright’s eyes. JT took a seat beside him, but gave him as much distance as the bench would allow.

“What changed?” Bright asked.

“I realized I’m never going to figure out how to love you by avoiding you.”

“How can you be so easy to get mad at yet so impossible to stay mad at?” Bright looked over at him, “I’ve missed you.”

JT felt something uncoil in his gut, “I missed you too.”

“You want to give this a try?”

“I think so,” JT answered because they were being honest. “I just think that I need this to go slow. I need to know if you can be on board for that.”

Bright furrowed his brow, “What does that mean ‘if I can be on board for that’?”

“I’ve known you a short time, but I already know you don’t go slow. You rush to search for your friend. You rush into your father’s murder mancave. You rushed to throw yourself in front of a gunman.” JT watched Bright think that over and not come up with a way to disagree. “We’ve only known each other for a few weeks, and we’re already in this deep. Have you ever gone slow in a relationship?”

Bright let out a breath, “I’ve only ever had one serious relationship.”

JT paused. That was not the answer he expected.

“And it was a disaster,” Bright said, “So, maybe stop assuming you’re the only one who doesn’t know how to do this.”

JT put his hand on Bright’s shoulder. He felt the tension there, but the other man did not pull away. Instead, Bright shifted on the bench until he could lean back on him. JT froze for a moment, then wrapped his arm around Malcolm.

“Is this alright?”

JT smiled softly. Bright sounded so unsure, so he held him a little tighter, “Yeah.” He breathed and watched it ruffle the barista’s hair.

“I want this,” Bright said, “So, we can try slow.” He tilted his head back, looking up into JT’s face. “But you’re right, I don’t know how to do that.”

“I think we just…talk about things.”

“We talk all the time when we’re together.”

“About murder, and serial killer themed coffee, and your dark past,” JT replied, “But not like this, not like today. I think I’ve said more real things to you in the last few minutes than I have since I met you.”

“I like you being real.”

“I like when you don’t act like you know everything,” JT replied. “If we go slow,” he added then, “I can’t be the only one pumping the brakes.”

He watched Bright take that in, and nod against his shoulder. Bright’s face’s face tilted back toward his, and he saw the uncertain look grow. JT wondered what cogs were turning behind the barista’s eyes, but he only had to wonder for a second. “Is kissing you still taking it slow?”

JT chuckled and kissed him. This kiss was entirely different from the one in the rain. That kiss was fire, desire, and passion. This kiss was searching, uncertain, and hopeful. It was sweet in a way he had not known they could be with each other.

JT found himself falling a little harder.

Bright pulled away and cuddled into him. He felt like the barista was trying to fuse with his side and JT realized, Bright was not going to be the only one struggling to slow this down. He tightened his grip on the man.

“Do you want to talk about what was wrong when I got here?” he asked.

“I really don’t,” Bright replied, he furrowed his brow. “Just…stay?” JT put his chin on Bright’s head. For the first time, JT did what he had wanted to all along. JT stayed.

_-_-_

Bright remained in JT’s arms and felt safe.

He felt the conversations with Nico and his mother float away because his brain was so full of JT. Some small voice somewhere in his mind that sounded a bit like Gil whispered, this is not what taking it slow looks like. He ignored that voice.

“Bright,” JT whispered, and his warm breath ruffled Bright’s hair.

“Mm?”

“I’m starving. Think Edrisa would make us some food?”

Bright sat up, twisting around to face JT. “Are you kidding? When you tell her about us, she’ll probably shut down the café for the day to celebrate.”

JT rubbed the back of his neck. “So, there’s no chance we’re keeping this between us for a while?”

Bright felt something squeeze around his heart, “Oh. I…” he thought about how much Edrisa and Nico already knew. How much Gil already knew. “Are you not…out?” He wondered if JT remembered kissing him in front of the entire department.

“No, that’s…” JT said, “Out? That’s an interesting question.”

“Is it?” Bright said, feeling surprise rolling up in him. “JT, am I your first…”

“No,” JT said quickly, “No. I just don’t talk about it much.” Bright tried to keep his face neutral, but he knew how frequently his eyes gave him away. “I mean, not everyone is as expressive as you. Doesn’t mean I’m hiding it.”

“People knew I was different before I did,” Bright said, “I didn’t so much come out as get shoved out.”

“I’m not in the closest. I’m just private.”

Bright wondered if he had ever understood how different the two of them were before this moment. “Okay.”

“Don’t do that,” JT said.

“What?”

“Not say what you want to say. We agreed we are going to try communicating.”

Bright let out a breath, “I don’t know if I want to keep this a secret,” he said, “But I definitely don’t think I will succeed at keeping it.”

JT groaned, rubbing a hand over his face, “You’re right. You’re as subtle as a sledgehammer.”

“Hey!”

The former detective looked up at him, “It’s the truth.”

Bright felt fear slither through his insides. This was over. It had begun minutes before, but it was already over. Malcolm tried not to think about Eve, but sitting there analyzing every microexpression of JT’s face, he could not help but remember.

He remembered her walking out the door, tearing chunks out of his heart as she went.

“Bright?” JT said, and he heard the concern in the other man’s voice.

The fear was curdling, turning swiftly to panic. JT was going to leave. He would leave. He was leaving, and Malcolm could not breathe. He felt JT grab his shoulders.

“Bright, breathe. Breathe.”

He could not breathe when Eve left. Before Eve, Malcolm knew what it was to have crushes. Bright had shot his shot and misfired more than a few times. He even knew what it felt like to have a few unpleasant one night stands, but Eve taught him the meaning of having loved and lost.

“Hey,” JT’s hands cupped his face then. “Hey, I’m not asking you to go back in the closest. I’d never do that to you.”

Bright closed his eyes, “I know,” he said. “It’s not that.”

“That was a panic attack.”

“Yeah.”  
“About me?”

Bright thought, yes. He felt the fear slowly coming down, but how could he explain what had happened? How could he tell someone, who asked him moments before to slow down, that the idea of JT leaving made his thoughts spiral? “Today has just been…a lot,” he offered instead of the truth.

Malcolm watched JT study him, saw the doubt in the other man’s eyes, but all JT said was, “Okay.” He released Bright’s face and sat back.

“I don’t mean I want to keep this secret,” JT said slowly, “I just…what is Gil going to think?”

“You’re not leaving?”

_-_-_

JT blinked at Bright’s question. He did not know how they went from the warm feeling of being in each other’s arms for the first time to the outright panic on Bright’s face. “You think because we don’t totally agree on how to tell people about us, I’m going to end this? Bright, Those are just details.”

“I wouldn’t blame you for leaving.”

JT remembered seeing Bright wounded after the fight in the alley. How laid-open he was in his pain. Watching him now, JT saw the same openness. Bright’s whole psyche seemed to be a raw wound. JT reminded himself, he was not just going slow for his own sake. Malcolm Bright needed this to go slowly too.

“Trying this thing between us doesn’t mean giving up at the first sign of conflict.” He met Bright’s eyes and tried to put his sincerity in the gaze.

“Okay,” Bright said, “We don’t have to tell people yet, if you’re not ready, but if we go downstairs now…they’ll know.”

JT ran a hand over his face. Maybe it was unfair, trying to make Bright be any less vulnerable than he was. “We can tell them.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, but Bright,” JT looked at him, “We have to be able to talk about shit without assuming the other is going to storm off.” He hesitated and sighed, “But considering our track record, I haven’t given you much reason to believe that.”

“It’s not you,” Bright said, “Massive trust issues, remember.”

“They did slip my mind,” JT said, and was rewarded when a slight smirk came to Bright’s lips. “It’s going to take work to navigate this shit.”

“I did warn you, I’m not easy to love.”

“You’re too easy to love,” JT corrected, “Even if this isn’t easy to figure out.” He watched the tension melting out of Bright again and knew he had said the right things. JT offered him his hand, “Let’s go get some food.”

_-_-_

Bright led JT down the stairs, glancing at him as they reached the bottom. “Are you sure you want to tell them?”

JT nodded, and Bright pushed the door open. Edrisa, Dani, and Nico all looked up from the coffee counter. Malcolm should have known there was never going to be a real choice. His eyes always gave him away.

Edrisa squealed with delight and came running over, “Are you two…?”

“We’re…” Bright glanced toward JT. “Together?” The other man nodded. Edrisa let out another delighted sound and grabbed Bright in a hug, holding onto him fiercely.

“Finally,” Dani said, approaching slower than the other woman. She looked at JT for a long moment before focusing on Malcolm. “I’m glad.” Bright smiled at her. Then his eyes went over her shoulder to Nico.

Nico stepped forward, “Could we talk?” he asked. Malcolm glanced at JT again, saw him nod, and walked over. Nico opened the outside door, and Bright followed him out.

“Mal,” Nico said, turning to face him once they were out in the sunlight. “I’m sorry.”

Bright felt one more source of tension release in his chest. “I’m sorry too.”

“You don’t have anything to be sorry for.”

“Yes, I do. I never meant for you to feel like I wasn’t happy you were back,” Bright said.

“I didn’t actually think that,” Nico replied, “And you’re not a burden. You never were. I just didn’t want to see you get hurt again.”

“I know.” Bright looked at him and felt like he could breathe again. “I think I did know that.”

Nico reached out and pulled Bright in for a hug. “You’re my family, Mal.” He pulled back but held on to Malcolm’s arm. “I want you to be happy.”

“I don’t want to end up where I was a year ago again either,” Bright replied.

“Yeah, but you can’t hide from love because it went bad before,” Nico said, “And I can’t hide you from it because it’s safer.”

“You’ll give JT a chance?” Bright asked.

“Maybe half a chance,” Nico replied, “Come on. Let me get to know your new guy.” He pushed Bright back in the door. Malcolm stopped for a second. Dani was at the counter, learning how to make an Ivan Milat Mocha from Edrisa, while JT pulled up a chair so he could watch. They were laughing and happy. Bright felt his heart stir a bit more.

Nico leaned on Bright’s arm. “It’s not a bad life.”

“No, it’s not,” Bright agreed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You thought getting together was messy for these boys? Wait till you see what BEING together is like...
> 
> Malcolm Bright in this story, and in my interpretation of the show has Borderline Personality Disorder. This story is going to delve into it more than my past works.  
> If you would like to know more about it, please check out:  
> https://www.nami.org/learn-more/mental-health-conditions/borderline-personality-disorder


End file.
